Rating: PG
Pairing: A/S
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Distribution: Ask and you shall receive.
Spoiler: A little of everything.
Summary: eternity is a long time
Author's Note: lyrics are from "Always" by Saliva.
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Lorne listened to the vampire who was singing on the stage as he sipped his drink and wished that he had had the sense to get something stronger than a cocktail. He waved the waiter over and asked for a bottle of whiskey.
It wasn't the singing that made Lorne wince. To be honest, the singer was probably the best Caritas had ever had. It was what he heard underneath the deep voice that brought a frown to Lorne's face.
Pain.
It was pain like nothing Lorne had ever experienced before, not with the other heartbroken customers who came in and sobbed out a love song. They, at least, still had their hearts.
The vampire didn't. He had given his heart and gotten nothing in return.
And Lorne didn't know how to give advice to mend something that didn't exist.
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I love you, I hate you
I can't get around you
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Lorne had a habit of portray an image of the situation in his mind, a metaphor of some sort. It helped him to evaluate the emotions on a more concrete level and gave him some ideas for his infamous puzzling answers.
He saw an image of a man in a glass tank with water pouring in. The lid of the tank was unlocked and within reach, but the man remained motionless. He made no move to save himself.
His eyes were fixed on the door and not on the rising water level. He was staring at the door as if he was waiting for someone to burst through any moment and rescue him.
That was why he wasn't raising his arms to break free. He held the hope that someone, a specific someone, would come for him.
Yet no one would come. The man knew this but couldn't help to hope and wait.
Waiting for the person to come and pull him out of danger.
Waiting for the person to pull him into his arms.
Waiting for the person who would never come.
Waiting with so much hope that it would eventually kill him.
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I breathe you, I taste you
I can't live without you
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"Well?" The vampire sat down next to Lorne in the booth and nodded his thanks to the waiter for the blood in front of him. He drank half of the glass in one gulp. "Judging by the tears on your face, guess it's not good, huh?"
Tears? Lorne finally noticed the wetness on his face. He had been told that this might happen, when empathic demons encounter an emotion so strong, that it would affect them as well. But Lorne didn't really expect it to happen to him and had disregarded it as a myth. Guess it wasn't one after all.
"Here," Lorne filled up the vampire's glass with whiskey. "You'll need this."
"Bloody hell, Lorne! Just tell me." Spike raised a hand to stop the demon from replying, "And no riddles. I can't fucking deal with those right now."
"He's using you." The words tasted like week-old coffee, bitter and stale, when they left his mouth.
"I know." Half of the alcohol-laced blood was gone with the quiet sentence. "Gonna tell me something I don't know anytime soon?" A warning glare was issued. "And no riddles."
"You know that."
"I'm a bloody convenience to him?" The glass was drained and dropped on the table none-too-gently. "Know that too." Spike grabbed the whiskey and poured a good portion of it down his throat. "Shouldn't this be about me? Don't tell me you can read him through me."
"I can't." Lorne ignored Spike's questioning look, "I read a tad bit too much when he sang here the first time."
"Any chance it has changed then?"
"No."
"Any chance it will change?"
"No."
"Bugger."
No words were spoken as they finished the bottle together.
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I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
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"So, what should I do?" When the last drop of the amber liquid was gone, Spike spoke up.
"Leave him."
"I thought you don't give direct answers to problems."
"This is different, Spike. Don't you think a century and a half is enough damage? Leave. Him! I can find you someone better!"
"Eager to play matchmaker, eh?" He lit a cigarette while straightening up from his previously relaxed position. "Not yet."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm waiting for something." Spike stood up and stretched his legs.
"What? His love won't come."
"I bloody well know that!" He started for the door. "And no, it's something else I'm waiting for."
"Which is?"
"The day when I stop hoping and save myself." Spike strolled for the exit.
"And if it never comes?" He ran to catch up with the vampire.
"Eternity is a long time." With that, Spike left the bar and the door closed with a soft click.
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I guess that I'm out of the door
And now I'm done with you
~ END ~